The 5000lb Mama Saves Christmas - All the Cookies “Ho! Ho! Ho!” Merry Christm-MUUSSRRRP-!!” The 5000+ pound Miss Summers shouted to the crowd on the back of a pickup truck that was built for a far smaller load than Sadie Summers’ ballooning weight. The struggling pickup was nearly at the end of the Christmas parade in Sadie’s small Texas town. The decorated old red truck was built several decades ago and was not up for the challenge of carrying such a large load after so many years in service. The trailing caboose of the parade that had fallen behind the rest of the parade floats, vehicles and participants was now over five minutes behind schedule as the rusting relic truck from the 1950s clearly could not keep up with the rest of the parade. This moment was the most anticipated part of the parade. The glimpse of Santa waving to the children and throwing out handfuls of candy. The bellylicious blonde bimbo with the biggest bowl full of jelly belly waved her swollen hand to the adoring crowd of children and families who were screaming for Santa. “Santa!!” “Santa!!” “Can we have some candy, Santa?!” One of the children yelled as Miss. Summers waved slowly. Her massive arms blowing in the southern wind as her bingo wings flapped violently with each struggling wave. “It seems that my elves didn’t pack enough candy!” Miss. Summers said through her clearly fake beard. The downright enormous woman was practically wearing a fuzzy tarp disguised as a Santa costume as this belly heavy blobette had outgrown the usual costume worn by Santa dressers several thousand pounds ago. The fact was that Sadie had literally stolen candy from children. The perfectly rounded Saint Nick had demolished several containers worth of candy canes, chocolate kisses, and other donated treats from local organizations and businesses all on her own over the course of the painfully slow parade ride through main street. The straining bed of the old truck was bending under Sadie’s 2.5 ton tubbage as the audibly struggling vehicle bent and groaned in protest from the 40-year-old southern blonde. Sadie’s other arm drooped uselessly at her side, a massively oversized IV pumped full of Grow Bros protein powder constantly pumping into her veins as she waved. The chocolate addicted mother with enough weight on her to nearly flatten a pickup truck was now constantly being filled with the irresistibly addicting chocolate goodness that had allowed her to put on thousands of pounds in just a few months. Sadie was sweating as several fans on the truck blew cold air in her face. A college student dressed as an elf had the unfortunate job of placing freezing towels on the back of Sadie’s enormous back that was coated in sweat. Another changed her chocolate filled IV as she approached the end of the parade. Several onlookers and kids laughed and mocked the comedically morbidly obese blonde bimbo that didn’t even attempt to hide her feminine features while she dressed as Santa. Her long blonde hair flowed over her big back and atop her sweat covered tarp dress. Her enormous belly overflowed on either side of the truck bed. Her dangling love handles tucked in by her tarp but were still pressing the fabric to its limits as the chocolate chugging IV pumping pig continued to indulge while in front of hundreds of onlooking families. Her blue eyes and long eyelashes blinked slowly as she felt the chocolate goodness flowing through her as she continued to occasionally shout a “Ho! Ho! Ho!” or burp or two. Sadie now resembled an inhuman-like blob more than the jolly old Saint Nick that she outweighed by 4600+ pounds easily. She was a gorging globe sized glutton with enough meat on her to make 15 Santas! Assuming each one clocked in at around 300 pounds. Which was NOTHING compared to this chocolate huffing hog that looked like was about to flatten the truck and fall on her greedy little face at any moment anyway! It was a miracle that Sadie was even able to haul her multi-ton butt out of her house anyway. The only way it was done was by a Grow Bros forklift out of her garage. The wall connecting the kitchen to the garage had to be knocked down by a demolition team in order to get Sadie out of her house for the first time in years. As a local company, Grow Bros wanted to help sponsor the event and had the opportunity to show off their largest customer in a Santa touting outfit. Not to mention that Sadie had outgrown several costumes before the event started and was now forced to wear a Santa themed tarp that could barely keep all her blubber contained at this point! “Ho! Ho! Ho! And don’t forget to order Grow Bros’ latest limited timed protein powder! The night before Bulk-mas: Candy Cane Choco Powder! Promo code Sadie20 for 20% off at check-URRRP-out!” Sadie shouted to the crowd as the vehicle slowly pulled off the street and into Grow Bros warehouse where Sadie would be safe from any pesky kids begging for pictures or a chance to sit on her oversized lap. Sadie let out a massive sigh as she motioned for another IV to be installed into her arm that weighed well over 500 pounds on its own. Gawd that was a hard half hour of work! All that waving, shouting, and eating the children’s candy had nearly put her into a coma! How did people work for a living? Who cares. All that matters is the work was done and she could get back to her house where a delivery of that Candy Cane powder was waiting for her. “Could one of you go get the forklift and get me off this tiny truck?! I swear my whole body is falling asleep in this death trap!” Sadie commanded as she searched for any dropped candy that may be hidden under one of her uncountable number of rolls that covered her bulk. “And how about a bigger truck next time?! One with an air conditioner or something? And some more snacks wouldn’t be bad! After all- how much money are you guys making from my promo deals again?!” Sadie barked to a now empty warehouse. Sadie rolled her eyes. It had been several minutes with no elf or employee to get her off of the truck. Is this how they treat their top spokeswoman now?! Gawd! Maybe she needed to start looking at rival companies for a better opportunity. How hard could it be to lift her off her pallet and drive her back to her house and put her in her living room?! As Sadie sat around, annoyed, she heard several jingle bells ringing and a flash of cold wind blast into her. “Hey! Did someone leave a door open in the freezer? It’s cold in here!” Sadie said to the desserted warehouse. She heard several footsteps approach her from behind as she continued to speak. “I am seriously going to have a chat with the CEO tonight about the hostile work environment! It’s colder than the north pole in December in here!” “Sadie Summers.” An older man’s voice said as Sadie stopped. “Ah yes! Finally a little help! Those kids you paid to play as elves have done a terrible job! They’ve left me stranded on this death trap for gawd knows how long! And after an excruciating day of work none the less!” Finally the man made himself visible to the oversized Santa imposter. The man looked at the two flat tires on the back of the truck that had been replaced with new ones just minutes before the parade began. He examined the groaning and creaking truck bed that looked as if it was about to explode into a thousand bright red pieces. And finally, he took a look at that enormously oversized woman dressed as him. “Another Santa? Look sugar, the parade is over. You’re too late. They replaced you with me. Something about wanting the ‘World’s biggest Santa’ or something. I just came for the free food and-“ “Why Sadie Summers. I haven’t seen you in a long time! And look how big you’ve grown!” “Look pal, you can drop the whole Santa skit, the show is over-“ Santa chuckled as he gave Sadie a poke in the belly with his chubby finger. His entire hand quickly absorbed under belly blubber. “Hey! Hands off c-URRRP-Creep!” Sadie said as the hand poke let out pressure in her chocolate filled stomach. “Like what’s your deal?! This is all on camera, you know? We’re in like a workplace!” Sadie’s enormous neck shook violently as her patience melted. Her arm that weighed more than Santa slowly responded and swatted the unwanted hand away. “Ho! Ho! Ho! Someone’s been a greedy little girl this year!” “Yeah, I’m fat. I know. So what? Look if you’re gonna poke and prod me at least buy me dinner first.” Sadie said as she finally found a candy cane tucked in a belly roll and crammed it into her mouth. “According to my elves you’ve grown over 2500 pounds this year… Someone has quite the appetite!” “Your elves? Have you been stalking me or something? You don’t know anything about me.” Sadie said as she pulled the candy cane out and pointed it at him. “Why you’re the biggest girl in the world!” “Look ‘Santa’ guy, you don’t have to rub it in! We can all see I’m big boned!” “Hoh! Hoh! And I thought I was big boned! But none compare to Sadie Summers!” “How do you know my name??” “Sadie Summers. Born June 19th,1985 right here in Texas!” “Do I know you from somewhere? Are you my old neighbor, Louie?” “Why of course not, Sadie! I’m Santa Claus!” “Ughhh! Dude we’ve been over this! The parade is over. You can do it next year. It’s not worth the work! I just want to go home.” Just then Santa snapped his fingers and an old book thousands of pages long appeared in his hands. The old bearded man was clearly tired of Sadie’s shenanigans and needed the two and a half ton pile of human lard to shut up. Instantly Sadie’s candy cane filled mouth silenced as a feathered pen appeared in Santa’s other fingers. “Let’s see here… Summers… Summers…” Santa opened the book and began skimming the pages to find Sadie’s name in the papers. “Ah here we are. Sadie Summers! On the naughty list this year…” Sadie’s eyes nearly bulged out of her chubby cheeked face. “WHAT?! Santa- I couldn’t! I-“ “It says here you’ve been running your boyfriend ragged, using his credit cards and maxing them out. THEN creating new ones in his name in order to fund your lifestyle of slob and gluttony…” Santa gave Sadie a quick glance up and down to confirm the notes in his list. “Well- I mean- maybe a little bit- but you try being as big as me! It’s not easy taking care of yourself at my size!” Santa chuckled. “Ho! Ho! I know all too well the difficulties of being a, what do you always call it? Being a big boned person?” Sadie’s cheeks lit up like Santa’s suit. The jolly old man approached Sadie and shook his head. “But I’m not here to tell you how to live your life. I’m here because I need your help.” “Me? What could you possibly want with me? I’m just a stay at home mom-“ “Oh you’re a lot more than that! You see… Mrs. Claus says I need to go on a diet this year. My suit isn’t fitting like it used to. And my doctor says I need to cut out the cookies and milk.” “But you’re Santa! Like that’s half of your whole thing! You know, eating cookies, drinking milk! Kids love that stuff! You can’t just let all those cookies go to waste!” Santa nodded. “Indeed. That’s why I’m here… You’re going to help me…” “Me?.. How? There’s no way I could fit on that sleigh of yours. I could never make it down a chimney! I could barely fit on this truck! I needed a wrecking ball used in my kitchen just to get me out of my house today!” Santa chuckled. “And that’s why you’re the perfect girl to help me! You’re going to be my stomach for me this year. All of the world’s cookies will be sent to you through my magical new one-way sack teleporters! It’s how the elves keep the gifts coming to me throughout my busy night! I am going to have one given to you, and you are going to do some of my job for me!” Sadie’s head was spinning. Had she fallen out of the truck and landed on her head and was now dreaming in a coma? Was Santa really asking her to eat millions if not BILLIONS of cookies in one night for her? How could this possibly work? “Let’s test it out.” Santa said as he watched Sadie struggle to come back down from the news she had just been given. Santa grabbed one of his sacks and placed it on a conveyor belt in the warehouse. With a snap of his fingers the winter wind was now pulling the conveyor belt right to Sadie’s face on the truck. “Santa this can’t possibly work! Even for a girl like me there’s no way!-“ Santa placed a cookie in his sack as it magically teleported to Sadie’s that now sat at the top of the conveyor belt. A steaming chocolate chip cookie fresh out of the oven plopped onto the belt and the smell smacked Sadie into gear. Without a second thought Sadie’s belly did the talking for her as her stomach reved into high gear and let out a massive groan of excitement and anticipation. Sadie eagerly clapped her hands like the greedy glutton she was as the cookie came closer. Finally the belt reached Sadie’s awaiting mouth as she plopped her face on the end of the machine and quickly accepted the first cookie given to her. “Gawd this is one of the best cookies I’ve ever eaten!” Sadie said eagerly. Santa chuckled again as he approached the massive woman on her tiny truck of a throne. “Only the best cookies are made for Santa! If you do that for me and keep up with me on my journey tonight I will put you back on the nice litonight, whatever gift you wish.” Sadie needed no time to discuss it further with Santa she quickly accepted the deal and held out her swollen arm to shake Santa’s hand. The greedy pig already dreaming of what gifts she could ask Santa for. Besides, spending Christmas eve being pumped full of millions of cookies from around the world didn’t sound like a bad way to spend the holiday. She would probably need a bigger truck though… *** An hour had gone by since Santa had said goodbye to Sadie for the night. His presence was quickly replaced by the unlimited and unrelentless number of cookies that were being teleported to her by Good Saint Nick. Sadie lay plopped on her truck. The warehouse now closed for the night as the now mindless blonde eagerly watched the ginormous sack of goodies continuously plop cookie after cookie onto the churning conveyor belt that struggled to keep up with Santa and Sadie’s pace. Sadie was pinned under her own bulk. Her churning belly struggling to keep up with her eyes that somehow acted bigger than her stomach which was now several tons heavier than it had been before the night began. The now 8,000 pound southern mama held her drooling mouth open wide. Cookie after cookie plopping into her eager mouth as her neck drooped onto the conveyor belt and occasionally got jammed in the machine. The oozing woman groaned impatiently as dozens of desserts dropped into place in her awaiting maw that had yet to be satisfied. At the rate Santa was going, he was sending over 10 million cookies per hour to his larger-than-life assistant back in Texas. The belly heavy bimbo looked several thousand pounds heavier. Her bulk continuously oozing out of her truck bed that was now tightening around her girth. Sadie’s belly pushed harder against the bed, her hips pressing deeper into the bed walls as the front tires now exploded off the vehicle. The rear tires having been blown off some time ago as Sadie gulped and guzzled every treat that plopped in her mouth. It didn’t matter the flavor, the style, flouring, gluten-free or not. Whether it was from Asia, Africa, Europe or the good ol’ USA, all of them needed to be taken care of by this cookie chomping Chica who had no trouble keeping up with that old man that was now her friend. “MOARRRR!!” Sadie barked at the bag from below the moving machine. Her cries echoing through the bag as Santa heard and chuckled to himself from across the world. He quickly dropped another plate full of goodies back to his biggest helper who called back. “FANKK YOU!! URRRP!!!” Just then the entire truck let out an omnious groan. Sadie’s belly drooped lower and lower over the truck until finally the old timey vehicle could take no more and quickly buckled from under its cargo. Sadie let out a piercing scream as the entire vehicle smashed to the ground. Defeated by Sadie. “Gawd that was scary!” “Everything okay back there?” Santa said to his assistant as he flew in his sleigh. “Umm! Yeah! The truck finally gave out… Please don’t count that against me on the naughty list… Could you keep the cookies coming?” “Ho! Ho! Ho! I knew you would be up for the challenge Sadie! Keep up the good work!” Sadie smiled proudly. Finally, she was doing a job she was good at! Besides it felt good to be helping the most famous man in the world do the most important job of the year! Even if she didn’t get any of the credit, she knew deep, deep, deep down inside all that blubber of hers, her artery clogged heart had never felt fuller in her life. *** Thousands of pounds packed onto Sadie’s growing girth as she munched and gulped down thousands of cookies per second. The blimping blonde had no choice but to keep up with the conveyor belt that was supplying millions of cookies per hour to the now completely immobilized mom. Just then Sadie felt the ground beneath her begin to crumble as her eyes nearly popped out of her face as she accepted another wave of cookies into her mouth. “GUUURGGG!! Ughhhhh…” Sadie groaned. The now 15,000+ pound prime sized porker was an unrecognizable human pile of lard that was beginning to look more like a landfill than a human being. The literal cookie garbage disposal was now five times larger than she was before Santa left for the night and she felt every ounce of it. Of course, Sadie was always used to being a morbidly massive mama, but this was different! Sadie was a grotesquely oversized hunk of mama meat so overstuffed with cookies that the bloated bimbo had now flattened the truck beneath her to dust. The red Christmas parade vehicle was now a pile of nothing buried under an ungodly amount of woman weight that continues to climb by the second. Not to mention the concrete flooring beneath Sadie was also turning to dust, cracks and craters that only continued to worsen with each cookie dropped into her face. Sadie groaned and gulped cookie after cookie. The blimping blobette in a permanent daze hyper focused on getting the next tower of cookies crammed in that wide mouth of hers before the next batch arrived. Sadie gorged and guzzled, making sure to never let a cookie reach the crumbling floor that was becoming covered with more and more of her as the night passed. Sadie’s droopy neck caught cookie crumbs and hunks of chocolate but never was touched by an uneaten treat. Sadie was dedicated, addicted to the onslaught of chocolate and sugar that continued to pump to her. As the hours passed on Sadie only continued to bulk. The ballooning blonde gaining hundreds of pounds by the minute, if not more. Sadie’s only thought was to keep her end of the deal with Santa and figure out the rest later. She couldn’t even think about how she would possibly be carried out of this warehouse. She wouldn’t be surprised if this massive space would have to become her new home due to how large she was expanding. It would take a literal crane to lift her butt out of this cold building! She didn’t even want to think about how devastating this feast would be to her appetite after tonight! If she could put away millions of cookies per hour who knew how much food it would take to satisfy her hunger now? Not to mention, Sadie’s belly was now a multi-ton drum of human blubber. A constantly churning cookie processing plant burning through millions of cookies per hour. An ungodly sized hunk of flesh now made up Sadie’s massive middle that spanned an ungodly amount of the warehouse floor. Sadie’s arms lay pinned to her sides, completely useless as she gulped and chomped everything in her face. It would take a literal army to take care of her now. Her boyfriend would need an entire team of devoted servants dedicated to keeping her fat face happy. Not to mention the machinery required to clean and feed such an enormous woman would be another undertaking itself. Maybe she could ask Santa to be taken to the North Pole where some of his elves could care for her? After all he owed her BIG TIME after tonight! *** As the night came to a close Sadie gulped down the last wave of cookies. The now 100,000 pound belly heavy beast unleashed a massive belch that shook the entire foundations of the warehouse. The creaking conveyor belt finally rested after the onslaught of cookies it delivered for 24 straight hours to the once 5,000 pound southern blonde that had grown 20 times larger in one night. Sadie was enormous. An inhuman looking mass of meat better resembled a melted ice cream cone than a middle aged woman. She was a belly heavy beast of a woman that had consumed every cookie made for Santa on Christmas Eve. She was a groaning mess of human lard, a blubber filled blimp of a human that had flattened the cement floor beneath her into a Sadie sized crater that spread through most of the warehouse. The entire building would need a new floor. The belts would need to be replaced, the truck bits would need to be removed. It would take weeks to get this place back up and running after Sadie’s big night! There was no way Sadie would ever stand again. Sadie could barely lift a finger. She was pinned under her own pudge, trapped under a titanic level of bulking meat that would only grow bigger as she lived out her days with her new appetite. Sadie continued to moan in pain as she heard Santa open the warehouse door. Gawd he better take care of her after this! “Ho! Ho! Ho! How is our girl of the night feeling on this Christmas Morning?!” “I feel like cr-UUUUUUURRRRRRGGGGGGGG!!!!!” Sadie responded as she attempted to reach her belly with her enormous hands. “Sadie, you ate over 200 million cookies!” Santa said as he placed his hands on Sadie’s swollen gut. The groaning girl needed as much pressure placed on her blimp sized belly as she could get. “Are you… WHEEZE… sure it wasn’t… WHEEZE… more?… oh gawd…” “I wouldn’t be surprised! I lost count some time ago!” “Ughhhhh…” “The boys and girls of the world owe you a lot, Sadie! After all you saved Christmas! I could never eat that many cookies again and keep the weight off! It takes a lot of magic to keep me in shape!” “I wish I had some right about now!-UUURGGGHHH! I’m as a big as my house!” Sadie’s belly let out an ominous groan as it expanded further against the legs of the belt and snapped the metal stands in half as the entire apparatus came crashing to the ground and bouncing off Sadie’s titanic tummy. “OOFFFF-FFFUUURRRRPP!!” Sadie exclaimed as the belt landed atop her belly and bounced off like a trampoline before shattering to pieces against her tubby legs. “Ughhhhh…” Sadie groaned as Santa brushed some debris off her gigantic gut. “Ho ho ho! Don’t worry about that Sadie! You can wish all this weight away! After all you lived up to your end of the bargain, now it’s my turn!” Sadie groaned again as she lay pinned under her own weight. She hadn't even had a chance to think about her wish yet! It took a lot of brain power to keep herself awake for 24 hours eating 200 million cookies in a night after all! “So what will it be, Sadie? Do you want some or my elf magic to get you back in shape? Or do you have another idea?” Sadie groaned again. As much as she hated feeling the discomfort of having 200 million cookies dumped in her belly in one night. She didn’t mind the whole conveyor belt thing that managed to keep her from starving to death like most nights. And a life as Santa’s cookie eater didn’t sound so bad either… Not to mention she would have her every beck and call answered by his army of elves. She would never have to lift a finger again! Hell, she couldn’t even lift one now! Sadie’s cookie fueled brain churned slowly as she thought for a moment. She could either go back to her boring life in her living room being pampered by her slowing boyfriend who could no longer care for her. Or live her life in the north pole fueled by an endless stream of cookies and whatever she wished… “I want to live in the North Pole as your official cookie disposal assistant!” Sadie said. “I don’t care about the weight, I’d only gain it all back anyway. Take me with you and give me some elves to care for me and you’ll never need to worry about eating a cookie again! What do you say?!” Santa thought it over. He placed his hand on his red cheeks as he walked around Sadie’s gigantic girth. It took him several minutes to strut around her blimp of a belly. “Deal! You’ll be all that and more! Just let me make a call for an elf crane to come load you onto our jumbo sized sleigh! Hopefully Mrs. Claus doesn’t mind a new girl in the Christmas village!” Sadie smiled. Her cookie fueled life was only about to begin, and she couldn’t wait to see what happens next! The end. Let me know what you think!