Sarah Makes a Choice
by Mollycoddles
Mother used to glare at me sternly as she watched me load up my plate with second or third or even fourth helpings at dinner.
“Careful there, porkchop,” she would say, her voice cheerful. She always said it cheerfully with just a hint of an amused laugh, as if I couldn’t detect the venom under the surface. “You keep eating like that and one of these days you’re gonna pop. We wouldn’t want that now, would we, Sarah?”
“No, mom,” I would say, my face going red. Gawd, how humiliating! I hate how her comments would needle me though. It’s so silly. Of course I’m not gonna pop. That doesn’t happen. That’s just something stupid that mom used to say to criticize me, to scare me out of eating to satisfy my hunger. But now I think, maybe the old bat knew what she was talking about. Maybe she guessed, even before I knew, how deep and abiding my hunger really was… Maybe she could read it in the way I smacked my lips as I ate or the way that I always rushed to the table when dinner was called or the way that I always hung around ready for dessert. Maybe mother had the same problem? Maybe she also struggled with this same yawning hunger. But she was so proper. She would never succumb to the darkness. She battled against it every day, following society’s dictates about how a lady should look, how a lady should eat. And she hoped that I would do the same.
I guess maybe she knew what would happen when I gave in. When I decided not to fight against my desire anymore. When I decided – finally! – to simply eat what I wanted.
Some people can eat til they’re full. Not me. I found that out fast. It seemed like I was always hungry and the more I ate, the more I wanted. I started to gain weight fast. My family refused to acknowledge the change, my parents steadfastly ignoring my ballooning girth and increasing appetite. Mother stopped making her cutesy comments about “watch out, Sarah, one day you’re gonna pop” as soon as I began my rebellion, as if she was afraid now to give voice to her fears.
That’s me, Sarah White, porker extraordinaire. At least, I am now. I was 180 pounds when I started. A little chunky in the thighs, maybe, but nothing like what I would become. I was a young woman, just turned 22, living at home and attending community college. Just a jeans and T-shirt kinda gal, a blonde hair in a ponytail kinda gal. Nothing exciting about me, at least not until I started this little rebellion against my parents. Mom thinks she can tell me what to eat? Not anymore! Now I eat what I want. I put on weight quickly, soon I hit 200 pounds. That’s when I met Claire. I met her at the mall and we started dating almost immediately; I could tell by the way that she eyed my protruding gut as it sagged over my jeans that she liked big girls. And, boy, did I get big. With her help, I blew up big time. By the time that I met Dr. Reuter, I was pushing 400 pounds. Incredible to think it now!
And Dr. Reuter? That’s a story in itself. You probably won’t believe me if I tell you about it. It seems incredible.
The doctor promised me that she would let me go after a month. I suppose I could leave at any time, but somehow I just haven’t. At night, after hours of eating and eating and eating, the doctor will finally unbuckle the belt that’s grown so tight around my expanding waist and lead me to a bed, where I collapse into sleep. In the morning, she leads me back to the chair to begin yet another feast. She doesn’t force me. She’s never cruel. She simply takes me by the hand and leads me, one arm around my back to help support me. I need that extra support now. Walking… ha! Waddling is so much harder now that there’s so much more of me. I was already over 400 pounds when the doctor found me and I must weigh so much more than that now after the doctor’s treatments.
My clothes didn’t last long. I didn’t know that they would need too! That fateful day that the doctor found me, at 5:30 am in the morning, standing in front of the pastry shop, eagerly waiting for them to open, my greedy breath fogging up the glass, she sussed out exactly what I was. My chubby belly was already spilling over the waistband of my tight denim shorts, my thick legs testing the side stitching. My white T-shirt was little more than a croptop, barely stretched across the swell of my ample chest, my big pink gut hanging bare. Flip-flops on my feet because even then I was too rotund to bend over to lace up shoes. I already felt huge then. 400 pounds! Claire had helped me grow so much, but it wasn’t nearly enough. I should have been ashamed to appear in public like this, but I couldn’t bring myself to care. All I cared about was the bakery. When would they open? I was sooo hungry!! I had to special order clothes these days and I had meant to order the next size up from the catalog, but I just hadn’t gotten around to it yet. I figured there was plenty of time to get to that. I had no idea that I would meet Dr. Reuter that day and my whole life would be upended.
She saw me pressing my fat face against the glass window, my nose pushed up like the piggy I am. She chuckled at the sight.
“Ah haha, I see a naughty little girl who doesn’t watch her waistline!”
I ignored her. When you’re as big as I am, you have to deal with a lot of smart comments like that. I don’t have time for games. I just want breakfast. Gawd, when will the bakery open? I’m soooo hungry!
“My goodness, princess, aren’t you a darling little fatty! I’ve never seen a girl so rotund. You must love to eat, don’t you?”
Hmm, okay, now this is starting to pique my interest. She’s walking around me, eying me up and down, like he’s sizing me up like a prize pig. She reaches out and pokes a bony finger into my exposed belly. When she pulls away, my blubber sloshes in response. Normally, that would piss me off. Don’t like randos getting handsy with me! But this time? I’m getting excited… turned on even… What's her game?
“C’mon, princess, out with it. You love to eat, don’t you? Love to stuff that pretty little face of yours, hmm?”
I look up at her. She’s nearly two heads taller than me, I have to nearly tip over backwards to look her in the eye. But somehow, I feel bashful. I look down at my chubby feet. She is tall and lean, I am short and fat. I’m probably already wider than I am tall… and Dr. Reuter will fix it so that I am SO much wider…
“Yes, ma'am.”
“But you’re clearly not getting nearly enough, princess. Look at you! Just wasting away! You’re practically skin and bones. You need someone who can really take care of you, hmm?”
I nod. “Yes, ma'am.”
“You should come with me, princess. How would you like a feast in your honor? All you can eat? Yup, even you, porky. I bet I’ve got enough food that I could fill you up up up, all the way up! C’mon… it’s so close… you could waddle a few blocks, can’t you, my plump little princess?”
“Yes, ma'am. Yes, please, ma'am.” I can’t help myself. I’ve instantly fallen into the role of a naughty little girl and I let her take me by my chubby little hand and lead me away. Goodbye, bakery! Goodbye, family! Goodbye, Claire! Goodbye, old life! I’m embarking on a new venture… I don't know when I’ll be back! Don’t know IF I’ll be back!
I nodded, my thick double chin jiggling against my sternum. My better instincts were warning me away from this woman, this stranger, what could she possibly want? She couldn’t possibly intend any good… and yet… I couldn’t stay away. That promise of food, of all the food, of anything that I wanted… It was too enticing. And there was something about her manner, that knowing gleam in her eye, that told me… this woman knows exactly what I am. And she wants to take care of me. She wants to give me exactly what I want, exactly what I need.
Her lab… is it a lab? It’s in the basement of a nearby building. I can smell all the wonderful scents of freshly cooked food as I enter the door. She wasn’t kidding! She really has prepared a feast for me! There is a chair at the table. She motions for me to take a seat. I can’t stop myself.
I squeeze my fat ass into the chair. She snaps shackles around my wrists, cinches a belt around my ample waist. I’m not surprised. Somehow I knew this was coming. I’m only intrigued… and hungry. The smells of cooking are driving me wild. I’m so very very hungry. Dr. Reuter thinks she can feed me enough to satisfy my hunger? We’ll see about that. She doesn’t know just how much I can eat. I’m a hungry hungry gal, after all.
“I won’t keep you too long, princess,” she says. “Just long enough to complete my experiment. Let’s say a month, hmm? I think that should be enough time for you to eat your fill, don’t you think, princess?”
“Yes,ma'am.”
“Hungry, Princess?”
“Yes,ma'am.”
“Starving?”
“Yes! Yes,ma'am!”
She snaps a brace around my face. The machinery can turn my head, it can work my jaw. Everything is prepared. She will feed me. I don’t even need to move a muscle. The food will come to me. Oh this is perfect, I’ve waited so long for someone who can really take care of me. I’m just a greedy little fat girl who needs some TLC. Give it to me, doctor!
“Well then, dig in! Eat as much as you can hold, princess!”