Unless you both work from home, you'd be having probably at most 2 meals a day together so just make sure that your breakfast and lunch is healthy and small so you don't overconsume calories. If she's confident in her body and you're discussing moving in together I don't see why you wouldn't just tell her. It's reasonable to assume that you've been dating for a while so the best thing to do would be to tell her about your fetish. You can explain you like fatties and you prefer her at her current size and she can eat whatever she wants. I would be surprised if she suspects you have a fat fetish already considering that you're dating an ssbbw and that normies are aware of this fetish now

I’m currently with a woman who’s north of 400 & since we started dating a year or so ago, I’ve gone from 250ish-285 (I’m 6’ tall so that’s not very big, but still) 🤷‍♂️

I'm 6 foot 5 and 250lbs. My wife has gone from about 200 to about 360lbs over the years, and eating sugary junk alongside her took my weight up to about 300. One me it didn't look too bad as I'm tall, but a lot of it was belly and I just don't want to look like that. So I made it that her 'thing' is eating and my 'thing' is the gym. She has an extra donut, I do an extra set 'so I can look after her'. In about 6 months I was down to 240 and she was fatter than ever. I can lift her still (tried yesterday) and we joke about it, like 'If I eat all this over christmas you're gonna have to put in some extra workouts to help me stand up'.

>>77766 So I have told her that I like fat women and that my preference is for larger women. She is very cool with that and lets me rub her belly, grab her thighs all the time. She is comfortable with her size and she's also told me that she never wants to be skinny in her life, though she's also said for health reasons she doesn't want to be in the 300s all her life and would ideally drop down to around 250lbs at some point. The reason I never told her I have this fetish is because she knows about the fetish, she was scrolling Instagram and I video of Boberry came up and she told me she thinks feeders are gross.

How bad are your and hers eating habits? If they're that bad and you're living together, you'll probably put on some weight. I would recommend everyone who hangs out on this site to lift weights. If you're going to be slamming a heavyweight in the bedroom, you may as well practice in the gym. I think stronglifts is a good simple strength focused program. It's not specifically for bodybuilding but if you follow it and eat right, you'll put on some muscle. Try and increase your protein intake too (helps with the muscle gains). Same for your missus too, it won't hurt her unintended weight gain. Potentially cook high protein dinner, she can match your portion sizes. You won't look as fat if you've got muscles under it. Plus you'll be able to lift your missus (maybe). Mines almost 400lb and I can't.

>>77772 Gym is the answer. Unless I'm at work, I eat every meal with my wife, and we eat similar portions. The difference is that I have an active-ish job and lift heavy at the gym. She makes art or plays video games all day. The result is that she's 5'2, ~450 pounds and I'm 6'2, 240

Genetics also play a role. If she is naturally fat, she will gain weight much more easily and quickly than you. Many people gain relationship weight, but if you are genetically predisposed, you will gain much more.

I don’t really eat breakfast so I effectively intermittent fast while meanwhile she grabs several granola bars to head out the door. One of them is often a Metrx Big 100 which has like 400 calories. I then have a responsible lunch at the office while meanwhile she pretty much never brings lunch and orders out basically every day. I’ve encouraged her to make it the time of day she takes a break from work and if she gets something heavy or indulgent it can be our little thing. She’s not into this fetish but that makes it more about us thinking of each other thru the day, which she likes. At home I’m just not a real sweet tooth guy which helps, and while we eat the same dinner/weekend meals, I have slightly less (not really enough to be super obvious) and she sometimes has seconds. She has framed me in her mind as a “light eater” and she likes me trim so instead of it reflecting her opposite habits, she sees it more as me doing my thing and her being the “normal” one. I also am more active when she’s not around. I go on a walk every day at lunch, tend to walk to the store instead of drive, use public transit which always has a walking component, etc. She is totally sedentary except for when we are doing stuff on the weekend, but that’s just incidental exercise.

>>77777 She has weird eating habits, she comes from a family which is very health focused and so at times she will be very focused on "clean eating" not because she wants to lose weight but for health reasons. However, on the other side one her motivations for wanting to move out other than taking the next step in our relationship is to get away from her mom side eyeing whatever she eats. She told me she's addicted to food, she gets visibly giddy at the idea of getting fast food or take out. She'll go through stretches where she eats fast food almost every other meal (ordering two combo meals for herself), cook a very large meal the times she doesn't and will eat a large pastry every night. Me I've always been kinda chubby and had a big appetite, but I try to eat a smaller breakfast and lunch reserve it for a big meal high in protein after work. I appreciate your advice, I work right now at a pretty physically intensive manual labor job, I lift things all day and walk 30-40,000 steps a day. This helps me a bit probably but I think adding in a regular workout routine would be a good deterrence, it's also something I can start before we move in together to kinda prepare.

>>77754 > when I do eat healthier or have smaller portions she gets a tiny bit upset and says "well now I have to be healthy myself" then will order a healthier or smaller entree. Wait, why do you assume she could suddenly be consistent with healthy eating and lose weight ?

>>78031 This is fair she has been slowly gaining for years, I think the coomer brain in me wants to always see her pigging out and gets disappointed whenever she has a healthy meal or two but that’s not realistic.

My girl is pretty big (350 - 400ish at 5ft 1) and is gaining at the moment. We typically have the same thing for dinner but for me that is my only "meal" of the day wheras she will usually put away a couple meals and a tonne of snacks before and after dinner

My wife gained from about 150 to 236 at her peak - in that time I went from about 180 to 190. Sidenote: 236 is a heavenly size. I do most of the cooking. I always made sure her servings were bigger than mine, but tried to never make it obvious (don't set unequal plates side by side). If you are ordering culvers for example go ahead and get yourself a double as well. Just don't finish yours. I made sure we always had a snack watching TV at night. She always finished whatever we made, so for example if I was making cream cheese and salsa with chips, i got to teh point that i used the entire block of cheese. I had what I wanted, but before I knew it she had 3/4 of it and was cleaning every last bit out with her fingers. I always made sure she had the extras that she wanted - sauted mushrooms with her steak for example. Appetizers in restaurants. Dessert somewhere else on the way home. Her favorite sugar filled maragrita mix in the fridge, and i always casually encouraged her refills. Bought her favorite soda - regular coke while I drink Diet Dr Pepper. Also I just tend to be more active. I walk the dogs, she prefers to stay home. Anything she needs in our two story house, I get it for her. If i'm shopping I park far away from the store for an extra walk (and less door dings). Mainly though, I would say the bigger she got, the more appetite she had, and it felt like she could easily consume twice the food that I did. So, very bummed when she declared a few month back that she went on weight loss drugs. It was fun while it lasted.

Lift, use chasing the gains as a defense. Make higher protein foods "your" treat. Use that to displace more calorie dense foods. Assuming alcohol, get into a manly low carb drink like Scotch. Emphasize the gender divide with her fruity drinks. Again, you're both consuming, but her calorie density is higher. Share your fun foods generously of course, ideally in mutual serving containers. Talk more while the food is available. Intermittent fasting because you're too busy at work. It's so stressful. No time to eat. You're right to indulge with her. It works waaay better for keeping a woman well fed.

If the goal is to blow her up, the other thing you can do is lower her activity. Use moving in as a chance to take over or outsource physical tasks. Hire a housekeeper. Frequently stop into the grocery store on your way home. Reduce the intensity of physical dates. Maybe replace a nature hike with a nature center. Or drop her to get a table while you find a spot. She's gonna run into the limits of her physicality with an extra hundred pounds. So these changes have the added benefit of minimizing those moments. Encourage her sedentary interests. Even better if you can tie them to eating with others. Book club that meets at restaurants. Girls trivia night at the bar. Maybe the local food pantry does a gourmet charity dinner. Nurture identities that naturally send your calorie needs in opposite directions, in other words. If it's who she is, changing requires far more sacrifice than eating a little less. It means losing relationships, belonging, identity. Or ya know, enjoy the ride and don't worry about it. What's it matter if you carry an extra fifty for a couple years.

>>80230 This is pretty much right. You need to have a second half of your life that counterbalances a bit of hers. Heavy exercise consumes a lot of calories. You can still eat the foods she does, just way less—it’s a matter of proportion.