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How do your families/friends feel about your relationships? Anonymous 01/28/2026 (Wed) 20:30:58 Id:8f1e87 No. 78303
For context we're both in our early 20s and my gf is fairly big (250-300lb range but built like picrel) and I try to stay as fit as I can. over the course of our relationship ive had many of my family and friends pull me aside and tell me that I could do better (skinnier) and urging me to never move in with her. My dad often says hes disappointed and that i should leave her for someone "hotter". The only problem anyone ever has with her is her weight which obviously i dont care about. Other than that she's nice and makes decent money. Im in love with her so listening to them isn't an option. I also live with my parents so I hear about this pretty often. Do any of you have similar stories and have you found a way to deal with people hating or trying get you to end your relationship? So far all I can do is try not to let them get in my head too much.
The easiest way is to just be blunt about it. Your not settling and that fat chicks are what you're into. Even if they can't wrap their head around it everyone knows what a chubby chaser is.
>>78308 Ur right, I should stand by my woman and my attraction to her instead of just letting people think im settling for less. They think i can do better but I already have what I want
Family has spoken up saying they are concerned about her weight given the basic tasks she cannot do with ease.
>>78316 I feel that. My gf got a job that keeps her standing all day and works out once in a while so shes actually gotten alot more capable lately so I think my family just literally hates that she has a belly.
>>78316 My family was the same way with my ex (mid-300s). Not out of anti-fat sentiment, but genuine concern about her health. I had a relative whose knees ended up basically being bum due to the sheer amount of pressure his weight put on them on a day-to-day basis. She had medical issues which were already straining her knees to a point where even a quarter-mile walk could an impossibility, depending on the day. Nothing to say of how a number of relatively minor tasks felt like major endeavors due to a combination of physical and mental issues.
I have the other problem. My family is too rehearsed. They had to notice she was bigger this Christmas, I wish I got a tiny indication though. I mean, I don’t want them to say anything to make her feel bad, but I would’ve enjoyed seeing their expression break for just a second while looking at her stomach or something. Her mom is starting to get a little prematurely senile though, but I’m hoping a comment might pop out one day
when i was 16 i had the first serious gf i ever had and before my mom met her I said look mom she is a heavier girl so don't be surprised or caught off guard- its just what I'm into. Nobody ever said a thing. But I did also come from a family of larger women so, it was probably just seen as normal.
My mum has always been very judgemental towards fat people and makes comments about them when she sees them along the lines of "how could anyone let themselves get like that" and "They are killing themselves" It ruined my confidence for a long time and I was never confident enough to bring any heavier women home and any potential girlfriends she would make comments about Well jokes on her because as soon as I left home I ended up way fatter than any of those women she shamed. Then after enduring years of mean comments about my weight, the shame went away and I brought home a bbw (around 300 lb). She never made a comment about her weight once - she's always too busy focusing it on me. Life hack.
Every now and again when I catch a glimpse of certain fat women, if my mom is with me she'll say "TOO BIG". I've clapped back at her a few times with "Not your choice", "I'm the one who has to find her attractive". I've also received many comments from my family about they don't want me dating/marrying any woman who could be a candidate for 600lb life.
My family don't even bring up my girlfriend's weight. They just love her, I swear my grandmother likes my girlfriend more than the old dear likes me! Granted, they are also encouraging about her trying to lose weight, but I think that's A-OK. If we hit the gym and we get an extra thirty years together because we're both in better shape, that's worth more than going, "cor what a lovely fatty."
Gen Xer here so I came up in a fatphobic society. No such thing as SA/BP and it was open season on fat people in the media — truly the last allowable prejudice. My mom was a classic Boomerexic, proud of how little she ate and she'd point out every fat person with disgust and/or ridicule. My dad was less overt about it but made his fatphobia known here and there. Meanwhile I was basically born an FA, hiding "before" pics from tabloids under my mattress, drawing fat women compulsively, mooning over Mamas and Papas album covers lol and so on. My first GF was in junior high. She was fat for the early 80s but "curvy" now. I was terrified to tell my mom about her or bring her around. Then one day my mom dropped me off at a friend's house and my GF was out front with a couple other friends. She ran up and hugged me before my mom left. I figured I'd get some kind of blowback when I came home but my mom was shockingly cool. Some light teasing — "I didn't know you had a girlfriend", etc but nothing about her weight. Later on my mom soured on her but that's because she thought she was trashy lol, never said anything about her being fat. That said, she continued making comments about other fat people so I was still a bit on edge. A few years later I had my first real GF. She was the second fattest girl in our class, which back then translated to 5'2" and 180 or so. Again I was worried I'd get blowback or they'd treat her badly but no, everything was cool. We dated for two years, went out to dinner with my parents (separately, they were divorced) and so on and there were never any issues. Both complimented her on her looks (she was actually very pretty), and my dad told me privately he thought she was hot lol. (Yes, she was 16-17 at the time. Boomers.) I did take some shit from friends when we first started dating but then when the relationship got more serious they backed off and she became "one of the guys." Granted, teen boys will pounce on pretty much anything and I dished out my share of insults, appearance-based stuff as well. I went to a very liberal college where even in the 90s no one would dare insult or ostracise someone over weight. I had a close friend at the time who told me my being an FA was related to low self esteem, which kind of sucked, but otherwise I can't remember friends ever having an issue with my partners. Ten years later my wife was the next woman I brought home and she was much bigger than the others, 5'3" and 230-260. There were no big issues but a few minor ones. My wife picked up on my mom's incessant diet talk, which I explained was normal for her, sadly, though my wife insisted it seemed kind of pointed. Unfortunately I didn't take it seriously until the first Thanksgiving we had together, at my mom's house, where my mom served her notably smaller portions than anyone else (except herself). My wife later told me this was backed up by more diet and "health" talk. Granted, she'd gained a bunch of weight the year prior so she was extra-sensitive herself but still, it was obvious. The next day I took my mom aside and told her to cool it. Of course she insisted she was being normal with her, and that "women generally eat less," but she got the message. We were married seven more years and there was no more BS from my mom. There have been fat partners since then and while my mom hasn't met them, she's seen pics and will say "very pretty" and so on. No insults. And FWIW, with societal changes recently where fatphobia has been elevated to bigotry like racism and homophobia, she's toned her shit WAY down. I haven't heard her comment on someone's size in years at this point. Dad was super-cool throughout, though once he realized the pattern with my partners he would joke around with me here and there. Thing is we're more like friends as adults so it's like the ballbusting male friends do with each other, and never directed towards a specific person in my life. More like we'd be walking down the street and my dad would see a fat woman and say "there's one for you." I think he's actually kind of fascinated by it but it's too awkward to bring up directly. So I guess the moral of the story is that despite their rhetoric my parents put my comfort and happiness and that of my partners over their own prejudices. I imagine people say shit behind my back but that's their business. I do the same lol.

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