>>61650
A few things to consider:
>The lion's share of non-crazy women, fat or otherwise, are long off the market (at least once you pass the early 20s or so), so the modern dating market is pretty much fighting for scraps, for both men and women alike.
It's entirely possible that not being able to find a suitable partner for an extended period of time can drive someone mad, thus creating a sort of a loop where people can't find a partner because they're unhinged, because they can't find a partner because they're unhinged... But that's ultimately beyond my scope of knowledge.
>Stories people share tend to be more negative ones, because those experiences stick with people more often than positive ones do. The existence of forums, imageboards, etc. only reinforces the idea that a doom-and-gloom mindset is the default, thanks to this phenomenon.
>Being fat, especially SSBBW/USSBBW territory, is usually a result of poor eating habits, which can be exacerbated by mental disorders. The amount of negative attention that fat women tend to get in person doesn't help things either, and will regularly only deepen their own insecurities. Which, in turn, makes it harder to improve their eating habits.
>If someone constantly posts in social media spaces, it's most likely being done out of some desire for attention, and fat women are no exception to this. And because they're more frequently posting, they're more likely to pass your eyeballs when you're scrolling online. Being terminally online is very much a phenomenon of the mentally unstable.
From personal experience, BBWs who aren't constantly making their presence noticed online are more likely to be more levelheaded. I can't speak as much for red flags for BBWs in person, outside of the cliched physical attributes.
As for the topic at hand, I did date a SSBBW for about a year, who wasn't quite all there mentally. Physically, the attraction was there, and I haven't felt the degree of chemistry I did with her on that front prior or since. Emotionally, there was solid chemistry, at least on most days. Problem is, her off days were REALLY off. I know she had a literal list of mental issues, though I'm not sure if BPD was one of them. The things that set her off weren't necessarily total nothingburgers for the most part, and were more in the realm of her having issues with money (thanks high time preference), work, or how our relationship would work in the longer term. Once or twice, the arguments were over stupid things, like me getting her a Christmas present that aligned with more practical needs.
Regardless of cause, our arguments would more or less be comprised of her getting extremely emotional, whether that be anger or bawling her eyes out, and me trying to defuse things, or at the very least, not returning the favor in terms of emotion. On at least one or two occasions, she would talk about relapsing into self-harm, which she still had a decent number of scars on her wrists from, and offing herself, which fortunately never happened. She'd sometimes just go off about how worthless she was, and how nobody liked her, and how she was just a drag on everyone around her. I recall her downing at least 6 beers in one sitting after an argument. There were multiple times where she would bug me to just break up with her and never talk to her again, despite me repeatedly stating that I had absolutely zero desire to just completely abandon her, unless she did something that truly warranted it.
Yet, in spite of all of that, I still stuck around with her for a good while, and we ended up splitting up after coming to terms with the fact that our long-term ambitions were incompatible with each other. She took the breakup a lot harder than I, as one might imagine, but once all was said and done, we ended up going back to being on good terms, where we remain to this day. Over the first couple of months after we split up, she was having a rough time finding another guy to be in a relationship with, and those intense negative emotions would haunt her from that. But even that seems to have dissipated somewhat. It's probably a combination of the stakes between us being much lower due to not being "together" and us not communicating as much as we used to, but she seems to, at least for now, be in a bit of a better mental position than she was.
As far as I can tell, she's not the sort of person who would actively try to make someone's life Hell on Earth simply due to having a particularly bad day, nor is she one to use her misfortunes in order to emotionally manipulate others for personal gain, like far too many people do. I still view her as a good person at her core. It just sucks how badly her baggage weighs her down.
