/gen/ - General Discussion

Bro just get a chubby GF, they can be healthy and are still hot. You can't just kick your preferences, instead embrace them and be happy. Quitting porn in general is a good idea though, but tips for that are plentiful.

You want to be free from an eternity of gooning? I have an offer for you. Fight. Become a Kamen Rider and fight until none others are left. Only then, will your wish be granted. What do you say, OP?

Visualize what and who you want to be. What would you be doing instead of this? Find a hobby, play an instrument. Have hope in yourself to be the man you want to be and pursue that path ferociously. Go easy on yourself when you slip. Make new choices. Choose in every moment what it is you actually want to be doing. It's not easy and it can be done. Get off the internet as much as you can. Fill your mind with good things and do good actions. Things will change for you bro.

If you couldn’t get hard I’m guessing you had a bigger issue then this fetish unless you couldn’t get hard just because she was too skinny or something

You're into this and suppressing it isn't gonna make you feel any better. I would just date larger women and be up front about what you are into early on. If they respond to what you like about this fetish in a bad way, then move on. Coming from experience, it'll save you time and heartache. Also, she doesn't have to already be into the fetish, just as long as she is receptive to try stuff or at the very least roleplay.

>>92435 Thats what im gonna do get an attractive chubby girl. I just need tips to give up this masturbation addiction >>92448 HELL NO lmao >>92451 Thing is i do but the dilemma is im a homebody. A gym practice calisthenics, work play guitar from time to time play video games but i always catch myself doing the deed when things are dry or quiet. I don’t really have the best social group in irl because of individualism which sucks also hard to make new lasting friends in London. I don’t struggle to find a partner but im just unable to do it because my sexual performance is nullified due to masturbation. Might be porn induced ED…. >>92452 Nah she was my type. Thinking about her now she was honestly great personality wise and banter wise. The retarded dark humour banter. I hope to God i don’t have bigger issues. I just hope its a neurological adaptation. Cause it can be adjusted. >>92463 I know. I just cant date cause im tryna moderate this habit of stroking the sword and its pretty difficult to be transparent about personal issues when dating cause again “individualism” Thanks for the feedback so far

>>92433 No joke,try to find a chubby/chubbyish girl,im underlining the chubby words on purpose Find a bare minimum spot for u (dont make it about numbers,like i wont say "oh bro aim about 150 pounds and more" because fat distribution is really different in women) like to example,im chasing big boobs and big rear like all of us do,but i also chase waist softness,like you can count this as a waist fat,or belly pouch,or both (which im chasing both) or thicker thighs then normal,or soft face,hope you get my point,set a benchmark at your head basically. I mean come on dude,every man is coded into liking some fat in women,there is nothing wrong with it

Don’t know where I should put this post or if anyone is going to see it, but I spent the last four hours last night removing all the weight gain comics from my iCloud last night and actually feel both sullen and relieved that their gone…what’s happening

Assuming this isn't in bad faith (lol) it's best you try to have a mature mind about having a kink/fetish and living the life you want to live. I have a family, a life, in decent health, and enjoy this fetish enough to feel like I'm not missing out on something. I'm middle aged now, but I remember feeling that angst and shame. Best advice, find a life partner you can trust enough to not have to keep your kinks in the closet. You don't have to live them out, but just being accepted feels good Also scat is disgusting but, Lord, it's just a fetish. Not really a big deal. You do you, doo doo.

>>93127 For me i just got a fat girlfriend lets me feed her snacks and burps in my face while we fuck and it gets this stuff totally out of my system for a few days

I'm looking for advice as well and I might be in a worse spot because I feel like I've dedicated most of my life to this. >Age 7, discover you have this kink through Youtube videos >Age 10, make a Deviantart account only to lurk and never post anything >Age 15, discover this place and then Covid hits so you have nothing better to do >Shit gets back to normal but you keep your head down, talk to nobody, and go home just to jerk off >Stare at the overweight females in class but never say a word (don't even think they knew my name) >Age 18, leave high school with a decent GPA but no friends, no lasting mark, not even a most likely >Last 3 years repeats the same cycle: >Wake up, jerk off, clean up >Go to college lecture, go to shitty food service job >Go back to apartment, jerk off I'm 21 and I have no hobbies, no interests, nothing except this kink. Yesterday I deleted most of my social media but I still feel no revelation and still crawl back here just from the muscle memory in my fingers. I haven't made a single lasting relationship with anyone who I've talked to. I still find myself staring at obese women in public. Am I fucked?

>>93131 Start going to the campus gym. If you like your major, start studying in that major's department. You'll meet other nerds who like the material. Get involved in research if your campus does that. Join a club sport. Start reading classic literature. Making friends and being a person of interest is tough man, but you can do it.

>>93131 Tatakae.

>>93131 You are already a fucking loser. You literally have nothing to lose bro. Start approach every fat girl you see and make something of yourself

>>93131 The kink isn't your problem. It's a form of self medication. Trying to kill it is a waste of energy. The problem is finding additional avenues for identity development. Places and activities your feel comfortable. It's possible/probable there is an underlying mental health need. Some combination of anxiety, depression, ADHD, autism, etc. Getting with a doctor to try various medications could speed run testing for several of those conditions. You can also try seeking events/spaces that are nuerodivergent friendly. If the university has any groups like that, or stereotypical activities like a game night. Focus on building mental health while developing a values aligned identity. The kink will take care it itself, and you'll pull a higher caliber of partner too. In a completely non judgemental way - If your y posting about this, on a board like this, level 1 autism is highly likely.

>>93147 what's the correlation between lurking this site and autism?

>>93148 The asynchronous text only communication found in message boards lets autistic people participate in community comfortably. There is also a high incidence of autism among fat fetishists. Combine the two, add the seeking of social advice here instead of IRL, and autism is very likely. Middle aged guy, medically diagnosed with autism offering some possible avenue for help. Not making fun or talking shit.

>>93150 Hey im op. The dude who made this post happy its getting traction again. You make some decent points and don’t worry im not taking offense to what has been said. So let me explain. Reason ive made this board on this site well because ive been using this site for a long period of time and wanted to see if theyre are like minded people who want to try and moderate this fetish or stop it. Really and truly some people may have this fetish and it may affect them in a bad way like pair bonding/sex or socializing in general. So im trying to seek advice or personal experiences from people who use this website or are on the same boat. Like that dude a scroll up. Its gonna be a challenge in itself going about seeking advice irl when people get judged for this type of shit lol because they don’t understand “preferences”. I already have friends calling me the “heavy bandit” or the “fridge crusader” cause of this 😂 so yeah. Keep the ideas and personal experiences coming please

>>93160 >Reason ive made this board on this site You're responsible for /gen/? That's crazy. I didn't know they let anons do that. Making entire boards? That's a lot of power.

>>93161 Oh my bad i meant to say I made this specific post in the general tab. I didn’t make the whole gen board as a whole lol

>>93160 If you like fat girls, but you don't like that people know you like fat girls, then you need to just be more confident in yourself. My friends know I like "bigger" girls, and they have obviously witnessed that the girls I've been with ballooned up. To the extent that they bring it up it's always just guys being guys, and it's never shaken me up any. I like what I like. I do have a somewhat unhealthy relationship with porn, but it's unhealthy like my relationship with caffeine or factorio is unhealthy. If you're beating your shit so much that you can't get it up for the real deal, then cut back, obviously. If the girl you mentioned wasn't big enough for you, and that was causing issues, then don't be with that girl. Get a fatter one. If you can't get a fatter girl in your life because you're worried about what people think, then you need to work on being assertive and confident in who you are. I was once less confident in myself, and looking back on those days, I was self sabotaging myself in many areas of my life unconnected from my hidden desire to turn women into 300 pound piggies. TLDR be true to yourself fam. Liking fat chicks and being kinky about it is normal enough. If your dick isn't getting hard, watch less porn.

>>93160 Typically a fetish like this doesn't go away. It's core to your sexuality. You potential surpress it through a medication, like an SSRI. But that's going to effect far more than the fetish. Finding health avenues for it is the most constructive path forward. That's why I take the time to respond to threads on gen. It's an outlet that doesn't interfere IRL. Your friends are giving you shit because you're 23. They will find something else, even if you date conventionally perfect 10's. Own it and they will send the fat chicks your way. You want the fat friend. What an excellent wingman.

>>93191 This is so true. Im in a long term relationship with a big ass lady but one other guy in our friend group likes fat chicks and everytime a girl has a big friend my boys are like "youre still not single so we have to call him up to take her down" your boys will give you shit about your gfs no matter what they look like

From what I've read from the OP and the other guy, you need to spend less time searching for fat porn. You don't need to give it up, but you show all the signs of it becoming a problem. Get to the gym, get fit, put on some body muscle, indulge in a hobby you like (porn isn't a hobby it's a bad habit), purposely keep away from so much online media consumption. You're rotting your brains through media fat porn, and it will get worse and worse unless you re-balance yourself. Porn itself is an unrealistic fantasy to make you knock one out. Dating a 400lbs+ woman and having a life with her is fucking hard work, but porn makes it look glamorous. Tips on quitting it as guys in their early 20s? Go fuck a 400lbs woman. That will probably help you quit, or put your expectations back to a more realistic level. I'll probably get some loser come back at me for this, but go and have an honest several night conversation with chatgpt about how you think you've got media and porn addiction. Chat AI has moved on considerably. You will learn a lot about yourself (and you can do it anonymously, or create a new email so you can do it away from your regular online presence). I'm in my mid 40s now and I did it 18 months ago, it made me realise a fucking load of things, it was a good life re-evaluation. I started out with being honest that only 600lbs women in porn is now my baseline, where did it come from, how did it escalate, where it might have come from in my first dating as a teen. How do I not not fancy my wife when she is 300lbs (but the sex had become massively infrequent). You'll find a lot of answers, or rather it will make you find those answers, but the biggest thing is being constantly online, there's a time and a place for all of it. Look up what JOMO is and actually means, and then think, when did I actually last unplug? You're better for it. Everything in moderation, and you being in control of it.

>>93205 This is actually good advice. The chatgpt suggestion is something I wouldn’t have thought of but wouldn’t knock it down or shit on the suggestion. Ima try. Getting myself to a moderate baseline from where im at now may be tricky

>>93226 If you're gonna play this game, use a paid model. It might stop being useful and tell you to see a doctor. Sometimes you can get around this by telling it you are a therapist trying to understand your patient. Then describing your experiences as the patient.

>>93150 Seconding the autism thing. I've noticed that at one point, it was this site in particular that got my Jimmy's up; I'm pretty sure it's just the familiarity with the site, and I know I've got some low level autism. It'd be good to ask yourself how much porn has become a "comfort" to you.

>>93332 Because autism causes social challenges, there's a lot of anxiety tied to attempts at in person intimacy. Especially if you're getting through life by masking. Pretending it be someone else, while letting all your walls down for a truly intimate experience, doesn't work well. In that sense, the porn can offer deeper intimacy than IRL physical connection. Because you're free to exist unfiltered. It's a much power expression of sexuality, even if the connection with others is mediated through both time and distance, through video. So two thoughts: 1. Don't be so down on yourself about it. Everyone deserves to meet their sexual needs, to the extent of their current capacity. 2. The hard work is finding space to exist where you don't have to mask, don't have to pretend to be someone you're not. And then connecting for intimate relationships from there. This is not easy. It takes years. The thought of someone discovering their autism through bwwchan cracks me up. Especially if they are high masking. Here's a quiz to check for that: https://embrace-autism.com/cat-q/ The near part about figuring it out, is finding connection with other similar wired people. Your weird shit become normal and you can simply exist. It's so much better.

>>93337 Im not OP but this got me thinking and I took the test earnestly and scored 154 out of 175. Im in my 20s,have a good job and have a fat girlfriend. I also get through social situations ok but talking to anybody irl is excruciating unless its a specific person I can relax around. You gave me some things to think about anon

>>93339 My money is on you also being quite intelligent. Often that unlocks the ability for extremely effective masking, at the price of constant overhead. It works, but is exhausting and ultimately leads to autistic burnout. Devon price and Megan Anna Neff are good authors for further exploration. Neff hosted a podcast called divergent conversations. I've found discussion on fetishes and nuerodivergence somewhat limited. Is incidence higher because there's a tendency to objectify people? Or is there simply more comfort with defying social norms? Get to something as constrained as intersection with a specific deviant fetish, and there's essentially nothing. Maybe fat appeals because there's no hiding it. Beyond a certain point it forces freedom from the pressure to conform.

>>93347 Im fairly advanced in my mostly knowledge and math based career for my age so im definitely not dumb but didnt go to college or anything and very artistic. Ill check out the stuff you mentioned and get to the bottom of this

>>92433 Dont have any advice other than, just stay away from porn. You can't have a gf & do this on the side, it will ruin every relationship, unless you're dating someone with zero self-esteem (which also doesn't last long).

>>93347 >My money is on you also being quite intelligent. Often that unlocks the ability for extremely effective masking, at the price of constant overhead. It works, but is exhausting and ultimately leads to autistic burnout. Ain't that the fucking truth. God fucking damn it. By my mid 30s, I had crashed and burned in every adult career job I've ever scraped together because the constant high level masking sucks the god damn life out of me. However, I now work with autistic kids, and I can tard out as much as I want around them all day long. It actually HELPS because it makes them like me more and I have more effective control over them for clinical trials. My guys, if you are too autistic for the modern world, but not autistic enough for support.... Start working with austistic kids! It's a great middle ground, and you get to help steer people away from being stuck in the situation you were stuck in, growing up without any help, just raw dogging life like you're too lazy to get it right like everyone around you has been saying since you were a kid

Probably one of the most wholesome threads ive seen in a while

>>93337 Guy you replied to here: thanks for expanding on my post. What's funny is that I recently realized I was autistic, sort of through bbwchan. For those other autists out there, I'd take a look at the term "monotropism"; it kind of makes it a disability again, but it's the most accurate theory & description of autism I could find. Maybe one day, we'll find that cure...

>>93436 There's nothing to cure. It's a brain wiring. You accommodate and compensate. Aspects are disabling, full stop. But looking into social disabilities and internalized ablism my be helpful. There's a trope - "If you've met one person with autism, you've met one person with autism." The condition is a collection of traits. Each trait expresses with a different intensity by individual. The traits also intersect the person's other characteristics. So experiences vary wildly. Because autistic individuals struggle with theory of mind, it's very easy to assume the experience is homogenous. But that's very much not true. Important to understand when exploring the autistic experience. Many are dealing in absolutes that do not exist.