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My skinny friend is starting to plump up Anon jp
No. 92603

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For about a year, I've had a friend who is basically the female equivalent of myself. She's into a lot of the same hobbies as me, making her really easy to talk to, is down to earth, and open to trying stuff. She's also objectively very attractive. She gets hit on everywhere she goes and is told she looks like a very well-known pop idol (imaged here). There's only one thing: she is downright frail. At least by my standards. She's about 5'0 and 90 pounds, but according to herself, that's "chubby." She tells me she wishes to be a Victoria's Secret model in her next life because in this one she's already past the point of no return. But to me, it looks like she could be carried away by a light breeze. Something that should easily turn me off. That being said, I can't help but fall for her. And I think there are a few reasons why. The first is what I mentioned earlier: how she's really easy to talk to, laid-back, and very typically beautiful. The second is that I detect a little bit of potential. The last time I saw her, she had just gotten back from a week-long family vacation, and I noticed something: a slight double chin. Although the rest of her looked mostly unchanged- maybe an extra millimeter in her waistline, a few grams of adipose here or there- that double chin hadn't been there before. That day she told me that she was officially going on a diet because she had gotten "too heavy." But not before delighting in a giant bowl of ramen. That brings me to point #2 that shows her potential: her appetite. She regularly outeats me and has described her impressive past feats. Two Big Macs in one sitting, three bowls of ramen, and 40 plates of sushi were light work for her back in the day. Nowadays she claims to have a shrinking stomach, but I think that gluttonous part of her still lingers. The third thing is she's said she feels uncomfortable living in a country where these strict beauty standards are enforced. She says she exercises hard every day and diets to stay slim, but she envies women from overseas who are allowed to feel themselves no matter their size. Because of that, she wants to spend more time traveling or working abroad. I think part of her would be more comfortable letting loose, in a sense. (1/2)
>>92603 2/2 As for where I fit into all this, I'm just her friend, but we've been doing some light flirting and touching. She does a half-high-five half-hand-hold whenever we say goodbye, she tugs on my sleeve to get my attention, she constantly holds my eye contact, she always walks pretty close to me, she laughs at my jokes, etc. Maybe this is normal friend behavior but you tell me. My other platonic friendships are always pretty stoic, so I'm not sure. Am I green? On the other hand, my evidence for me being in the friendzone is she showed me the DMs from a guy who was hitting on her because she thought he was creepy and that she doesn't really text me first unless we're making plans to hang out. Not complaints or being self-righteous, after all that's just typical friend behavior. I don't really know what the point of this thread was. To ask for advice? I really honor her as a friend and she isn't 100% my type but I can't deny what I'm feeling and the possibility she could become my type. I apologize if this kind of stuff doesn't really have anything to do with actual BBWs. I'm sure one of us out there has had a similar experience. What are your thoughts? Tl;dr, I'm turned on by my platonic female friend getting chubbier but it's making me feel conflicted
First, I am guessing she is Japanese? In america women tend to be a lot more direct if they are into you, definitely texting first and going out of their way to spend time with you, but I don't know if culturally flirting is going to be different there. It sounds like she just views you as a close friend. Second you seem to be projecting your fetish onto her, maybe as a cope that she's not your type now but could be in the future? She obviously has some sort of eating disorder, and that obsession with food shares a lot of overlap with feedism type things. Even if she did get fat she probably would not be happy or confident. Really think about WHEN and WHY you started feeling this way toward her, and what you would gain by being with her before you possibly pursue things. Its normal to catch feelings for someone attractive you spend a lot of time with, you don't need to feel guilty about that, but dont burn a friendship over a short term crush because you're lonely.
>>92607 And I should mention the reason I say all this is that I had a very very close platonic female friend of 5 years that was petit and bullemic, not my type at all, but when she got in a relationship while I was stuck in an abusive marriage, I suddenly decided that I was in love with her and absolutely ruined that friendship and burnt everything down with her out of spite. After about a month the clarity hit that I didn't want her, I just hated that she got to be happy while I felt stuck miserable in a situation that I couldn't bring myself to change. I still cringe thinking about what a cunt I was and wish I still had her friendship.
Issue is a lot of people here are in other countries so I don't think we can really tell what behaviour signals "She's into you" as she's likely Japanese. For some women, that's just how them being friends and being friendly are. Women's interactions with friends are different than the way men interact with friends. So what might come across as "being fllirty" could easily just be her "being friendly" because womens' behaviour in friendships can be very different like that. At the same time, I'm not necessarily sure it would work out either way. You saw a friend of your gain a little bit of weight which basically helped fuel this, I've experienced literally the exact same thing. In both our cases, she did not like her weight. If they're not into it, it's probably not going to work out at all and you're probably best bet finding someone who's actually on the heavier side, I know if it's Japan that's abit harder to do but still. In Either scenario, given what she's said I'm mildly curious what would happen if she ever visited the states for a month.
>>92612 I got a question, how did you get that country ball on you?
>>92613 I forgot to mention I'm American but I currently live in Japan.
>>92612 Thank you for your thoughts. I definitely see what you mean. Based on the last conversation I had with her, it seemed like she was less concerned about the actual weight and more concerned about the societal pressure. And yes, she's Japanese. The guy above said a similar thing about how she's probably more friendly than flirty. I definitely agree. I want to make it clear that I'm not gonna make the first move, especially at this time. Neither of us are at a stage where we'd be good for each other because of how far apart we live, our schedules, and the futures we want being very different. Then again, the heart wants what it wants, even if it's illogical. I felt like I needed to get these feelings off my chest. As for your last point, I met her right after she finished a working holiday in Australia and New Zealand for 2 months and she was very slender. I don't know how different America would be. If you don't mind me asking, how did you handle the situation with your friend?
1. She is in to you. 2. She will never be fat.
>>92608 Thanks for the thoughtful reply. I'm sorry to hear about your friend. If you're cringing now it means you've grown as a person. I hope both of you were able to move on. To start, yes, she's Japanese. In my experince with dating Japanese women, I've never met one outside the pretense of going on a date after matching on a dating app, so the attraction is usually already somewhat there. As for how they show it, I've had women that bent over backwards, driven 2+ hours to see me before and women who barely speak to me at all during the date just to invite me back to their place later. Basically, it's impossible to predict whether they like you. Like I said when I replied to the guy earlier, she said during our last conversation something along the lines of "I wish I was a foreigner or lived overseas so I wouldn't have to worry about being chubby." It shows me maybe she isn't as concerned about gaining weight as she is being negatively perceived. As for when and why, when I first met her I thought she was cute. Then when we started talking, I realized she was cute and had an amazing personality. This recent development has just shown me that if she got heavier she might just tick all my boxes. I've had a situation before where I've watched a crush get heavier year by year only to move away and get a boyfriend. I guess some part of me is terrified of missing that opportunity and repeating that mistake.
>>92637 1. Thank you, but what makes you so sure? 2. Maybe that's for the best but I've seen crazier things happen